don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
