Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
