i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
