Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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