We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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