No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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