another moral hangover. fuck.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
