I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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