yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
