I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
