He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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