I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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