He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
