after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
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