they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
