It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
wanna go halves on a baby?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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