Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
