Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
