ugly people sure do ruin things
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
