I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
