I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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