You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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