I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
handjob tips. give me some.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
