i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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