I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
