Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
