you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
