you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
