Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize