just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize