It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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