Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
