If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
