I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize