I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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