I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize