I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
50% drunk capacity currently
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
