my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
