And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
