She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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