p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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