There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
