nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
are you so shy because you have an std?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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