Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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