You're so nebulous sometimes
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
