If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
