I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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