Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
