TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
