bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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