He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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