My balls are so social today.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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