It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
