i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
