last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
