awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
