i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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