Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
