All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
