You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
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