This show inspires me to have sex in space
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
