You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
