why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
