I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I just want nice things and good sex
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize