my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
