He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
