I can text with my tongue
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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